I was thinking of some old sayings I used to hear growing up:
If the dog had'nt stopped to take a **** he'da caught the rabbit.
Yeah, you'll **** if ya eat regular.
I aint seen you in a coon's age.
If a buzzard had a piano up his ass ther'ed be music in the air.
Want in one hand and **** in the other and see which one gets full first.
Rare as chicken teeth.
Eat up with the dumb ass.
Busier than a one legged man in an ass kickin' contest.
Dont piss on my leg and tell me its rainin'.
That's slicker than two eels in a bucket of snot.
He's so ugly mom had to tie a ham around his neck so the dogs would play with him.