Are linemen ministers?

[BigClive]

Just for fun... Are you all aware that you can become legally ordained ministers on the Internet?

Just go to:-

http://www.themonastery.org

And fill in your details. Voila! Instant minister.

Let's see how many ministers we can add to the forum. ;)

Bless you all.... Reverend Clive.

[IN THE SHADOWS]

Just for fun... Are you all aware that you can become legally ordained ministers on the Internet?

B "R" C,
How on Gods Green Earth do you find this stuff on the internet??? Thats some funny chit man!:D:):D

[BigClive]

I was reminded of it by the thread "Are christians christians". It just made me think of something I'd stumbled across in the past, so I searched for "become a minister" and there is was.

There appear to be a few sites offering the service under the "Universal Life Church". The http://www.ulc.net/ version seems less intent on selling you an official certificate than the monastery link. The ulc.net link also allows automatic online confessions which is handy.

Sorry Swampy, you can't become Reverend Swampy. You can only use a real name for legal reasons.

[CenterPointEX]

In you searches Big Clive... have you found any web sites that make you a Linemen... I would sure like to be one one day... :-) Then I could be a minister and a lineman...

[BigClive]

Just call me Reverend spark. I bet there is a site that does forged electrical qualifications. Not a good idea at all.

So do you fancy becoming an instant minister CP? I mean you do enough preaching. ;)

[duckhunter]

Hey Clive,
We are called to be salt and light. You can do a combo on the light, now you have to figure out the salt thing.

[BigClive]

Hey Clive,
We are called to be salt and light. You can do a combo on the light, now you have to figure out the salt thing.

That didn't actually make any sense at all. Is it a biblical thing? :confused:

[CenterPointEX]

I am sure you know all about the Light thing BC, being a lineman and all...

BC, without light, we stumble around in the darkness... we can not find our way... Jesus proclaimed himself to be the light of the world... The Way...
The Truth... and the Light... Without him your soul wanders in darkness.
To people in the dark... the things in the light are foolishness... Because no matter how elequiently a person explains the Grand Canyon to a blind person... it will mean absolutely nothing the blind man... If a man walks in spiritual darkness... he is spirtually blind...

Salt BC, is many things... Salt is something a mans body can not live without... Salt is a preservative... Salt gives bland food flavor... to make it good...

So... Christians... are; in dispensing unyeilding love and forgiveness, to give the world flavor...

Thus they are to be the salt and light unto the world...

Now, imagine a world with out love and forgiveness... A world order based on... like Survival of the Fittest... A Dog eat Dog process where only the Biggest, Shrewdist & Fittest survive... that my friend is what Evolutionists call status quo... That my friend... would be a taste of Hell... For in that world order... sans God... there is no absoulute wright or wrong... Because at that Point... Right and Wrong become relative... to each person... Thats what so many preach... They preach that truth is different for each person... If that is true... Then the only thing true is that nothing is true... nothing is right or wrong... just different... In some cultures sacrificing your children on an altar of convience is no problem... In some cultures eating children is no problem... At least in those cultures the babies are killed quickly and painlessly... Unlike the Western method of ripping them apart piece by peice... using a suction hose to do the work...

[BigClive]

Tch! CP, you're so bitter. The thread title was a spoof of the "are Mormons Christians or are Christians Christians" threads. Would you like me to change it to "Are linemen and narrowbacks ministers?"

As far as Christians being the salt that makes the world taste good, it's also bad for you. Just like Christianity I suppose. :rolleyes:

As far as ripping babies to bits with suction tubes goes... Ummmm.... I can't say I have much experience of that. But babies do taste great. Particularly when marinated in sticky BBQ sauces and spit roasted over an open fire. :p

And that concludes your sermon for today.

Reverend Clive.

[IN THE SHADOWS]

Ya know guys...All the arguein and debatin over religeon here brings to mind an old prayer that Im sure everyone has heard but its good enough for a repeat now and then:D

Lord grant me the Serenity to accept the things I can not change, the Fortitude to change the things I can not accept, and the Wisdom to hide the bodies of those with whom I disagree.

AMEN

[BigClive]

Well my brothers an undertaker, so that's that bit sorted. :D

[CenterPointEX]

I am sure you know all about the Light thing BC, being a lineman and all...

BC, without light, we stumble around in the darkness... we can not find our way... Jesus proclaimed himself to be the light of the world... The Way...
The Truth... and the Light... Without him your soul wanders in darkness.
To people in the dark... the things in the light are foolishness... Because no matter how elequiently a person explains the Grand Canyon to a blind person... it will mean absolutely nothing the blind man... If a man walks in spiritual darkness... he is spirtually blind...

Salt BC, is many things... Salt is something a mans body can not live without... Salt is a preservative... Salt gives bland food flavor... to make it good...

So... Christians... are; in dispensing unyeilding love and forgiveness, to give the world flavor...

Thus they are to be the salt and light unto the world...

Now, imagine a world with out love and forgiveness... A world order based on... like Survival of the Fittest... A Dog eat Dog process where only the Biggest, Shrewdist & Fittest survive... that my friend is what Evolutionists call status quo... That my friend... would be a taste of Hell... For in that world order... sans God... there is no absoulute wright or wrong... Because at that Point... Right and Wrong become relative... to each person... Thats what so many preach... They preach that truth is different for each person... If that is true... Then the only thing true is that nothing is true... nothing is right or wrong... just different... In some cultures sacrificing your children on an altar of convience is no problem... In some cultures eating children is no problem... At least in those cultures the babies are killed quickly and painlessly... Unlike the Western method of ripping them apart piece by peice... using a suction hose to do the work... Bitter?..............................