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    “He who dares not offend, cannot be honest”
    ~ Thomas Paine ~

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    A beautiful young San Francisco woman was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself off the Golden Gate Bridge.

    But just before she could jump, a handsome young man stopped her.

    “You have so much to live for,” said the man. “I’m a sailor, and we’re off to Europe tomorrow. I can stow you away on my ship. I’ll take care of you, bring you food every day and keep you happy.”

    With nothing to lose, combined with the fact that she had always wanted to go to Europe, the woman accepted.

    That night the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a small but comfortable compartment in the hold.

    From then on, every night he would bring her sandwiches and make love to her until dawn.

    Three weeks later she was discovered by the captain during a routine inspection. “What are you doing here?” asked the captain.

    I have an arrangement with one of the sailors,” she replied. “He brings me food, and I get a free trip to Europe.”

    “I see,” the captain responded.

    Her conscience got the best of her and she added, “Plus, he’s screwing me.”

    “He certainly is,” replied the captain. “This is the Sausalito Ferry.”
    “He who dares not offend, cannot be honest”
    ~ Thomas Paine ~

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    A desperate looking woman stood poised on the edge of a high bridge, about to jump off.

    A filthy tramp wandering by stopped and said,"Look, since you'll be dead in a few minutes, and it won't matter to you,how about a quickie before you go?"



    She screamed, "NO! Bug off you filthy old bastard!"



    He shrugged and turned away saying,"Okay, I'll just go and wait at the bottom then."



    She didn't jump......... See? Suicide counseling works!
    “He who dares not offend, cannot be honest”
    ~ Thomas Paine ~

  4. Default innuendo

    I was sitting at the bar in the Elks club watching “Wheel of Fortune” with a few other members. Gordon pipes up and says “You know the word innuendo right? Do you know what it really means?” we say “No, what is it?” He says “It’s an Italian word for suppository!”

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    The Pity Train has just derailed at the intersection of "Suck it Up and Move On", and crashed into "We all have Problems", before coming to a complete stop at "Get the hell Over It"!

    This is Dr. Sniffle Reporting Live from "Quitchur Fussin". If you like this, share it. If you don't, suck it up cupcake, Life doesn't revolve around you!

    https://youtu.be/6ckwCXxoOdg
    “He who dares not offend, cannot be honest”
    ~ Thomas Paine ~

  6. #1516
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Location
    Custer's Last Stand, St. Louis City, Missouri, USA
    Posts
    71

    Default 3-Million and climbing

    OLD, Most excellent posting...
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sW85ZcswiqM

    Here's why Hill and dems keep losing...
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ch6ZSVVAiXM
    LMAO
    "Liberalism is a mental disorder" quote Michael Savage
    "When you deny a man his livelihood, it becomes personal" quote Chris Hanson

  7. Default

    In the famous words of Obozo...
    "Hay, get over it, I won!"

    Heh, heh, heh. SUCK it up snowflakes. What goes around...COMES AROUND. ES&D
    “He who dares not offend, cannot be honest”
    ~ Thomas Paine ~

  8. #1518
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Location
    Custer's Last Stand, St. Louis City, Missouri, USA
    Posts
    71

    Cool The gift that keeps on giving...

    "Liberalism is a mental disorder" quote Michael Savage
    "When you deny a man his livelihood, it becomes personal" quote Chris Hanson

  9. Default The National Poetry Contest

    Back in 2001 the National Poetry Contest came down to two semifinalists, a Yale Graduate and a Redneck from Alabama. They were given a word, allowed two minutes to study the word, and come up with a poem that contained the word. The word they were given was Timbuktu.

    First to recite his poem was the Yale graduate who stepped to the mic and eloquently said, "Slowly across the sands, trekked a lonely caravan. Men on camels two-by-two, destination Timbuktu." (AAAAAAAHHHHHH The crowd went wilc) No way could the redneck top that.

    But the redneck, not phased, calmly made his way to the mic and with a deep southern draw recited, "Me and Tim a huntin' went, met three whores in a pop-up tent. They was three and we was two, so I bucked one and Timbuktu."

  10. Default

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    “He who dares not offend, cannot be honest”
    ~ Thomas Paine ~

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