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  1. #501
    dbrown20 Guest

    Default Clive!

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    Americans don't wear Kilts in my part of the country. I always heard that the reasons Scotsmen wear Kilts was because sheep could hear zippers. Anything to that? dbrown20

  2. #502

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by dbrown20 View Post
    Americans don't wear Kilts in my part of the country. I always heard that the reasons Scotsmen wear Kilts was because sheep could hear zippers. Anything to that? dbrown20
    We always pull our zips down before we even enter the field. Mmmm. Woolly love machines. All sexy fun and no babies to worry about.

  3. #503
    dbrown20 Guest

    Default Oh Yeah, I just knew it.

    The Scotsman came to the USA and procured a job as a sheep herder. He was in charge of 10,000 ewes in the summer mountains of Montana. By and by he had sex with each and every ewe, and to facilate things had placed bells on the 1000 who were the best so he wouldn't have to waste time experimenting. A very wise man. Eventually the rancher who owned the sheep came riding up on his horse to see how things were. Upon interviewing the Scottish herder he exclaimed. Damn, why do you have bells on so many of them? The herder mumbled something to the effect that it made it easier to keep track of them. The rancher replied. I don't like it. Let's pen them up and remove those bells. This was done and after the rancher rode out of sight the Scotsman exclaimed. "Blimey, now I'm going to have to screw every damn one of them again." dbrown20

  4. #504

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by dbrown20 View Post
    Clive, you've never answered the question as to why Scotsmen wear kilts. dbrown20
    Your question and Clive's answer are in the "Brit training in USA" thread.
    Living my life and loving it!!!

  5. #505
    dbrown20 Guest

    Default Yeah,

    I saw it. Just lost track of it. Those Scotsmen say once you get wool under your fingernails it's just never the same. Clive claims that the most exciting way is to put their feet in your boots and then to make it better sic the dogs on em. They're quite innovative over there you know. dbrown20

  6. #506
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    N.E. Mass.
    Posts
    2,030

    Talking

    Oh no, I heard they take them to the nearest pond. They try to push the sheep into the pond and the sheep keeps backing up. And ofcorse the hind legs are in thier boots the whole time. LMAO
    National Grid = Retired! US Army vet. 68 - 70
    As of April of 2010 I quit smoking! It's been hard but so far no butts! I am now an X smoker!

  7. #507

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by dbrown20 View Post
    I saw it. Just lost track of it. Those Scotsmen say once you get wool under your fingernails it's just never the same. Clive claims that the most exciting way is to put their feet in your boots and then to make it better sic the dogs on em. They're quite innovative over there you know. dbrown20
    Fingernails? That's nothing compared to when it gets under your foreskin. Outdoor workers here have special velcro straps on their overalls for sheep retention since the sheep tends to sit a bit low in normal boots. Thigh waders aren't too bad though.

  8. #508
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    South East Texas
    Posts
    3,278

    Default

    Dontchha just hate it when ya hafta Pull out and go round front to kiss em Clive?

  9. #509
    dbrown20 Guest

    Default Well,

    Clive exclaims. "It's not so bad with the cute ones."

    The rancher rode up to the sheep wagon. The herder's little son emerged from the wagon. Says the rancher. "Hi sonny." "What's your name?" "Cliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive." Replied the child. dbrown20
    Last edited by dbrown20; 04-09-2007 at 10:47 AM. Reason: cause

  10. Default

    Featured Sponsorr

    Here's one for Battman...

    President Bush walks into a public library. He strolls up to the desk, looks the librarian in the eye and says "I'll have a bacon cheeseburger and an order of fries". The librarian, obviously a little surprised, hesitates and then says "Uh, Mr. President, I mean no disrespect, but this is a library." President Bush, embarrased, says "Oh, excuse me." Then he whispers "I'll have a bacon cheeseburger..."

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