Americans don't wear Kilts in my part of the country. I always heard that the reasons Scotsmen wear Kilts was because sheep could hear zippers. Anything to that? dbrown20
The Scotsman came to the USA and procured a job as a sheep herder. He was in charge of 10,000 ewes in the summer mountains of Montana. By and by he had sex with each and every ewe, and to facilate things had placed bells on the 1000 who were the best so he wouldn't have to waste time experimenting. A very wise man. Eventually the rancher who owned the sheep came riding up on his horse to see how things were. Upon interviewing the Scottish herder he exclaimed. Damn, why do you have bells on so many of them? The herder mumbled something to the effect that it made it easier to keep track of them. The rancher replied. I don't like it. Let's pen them up and remove those bells. This was done and after the rancher rode out of sight the Scotsman exclaimed. "Blimey, now I'm going to have to screw every damn one of them again." dbrown20
I saw it. Just lost track of it. Those Scotsmen say once you get wool under your fingernails it's just never the same. Clive claims that the most exciting way is to put their feet in your boots and then to make it better sic the dogs on em. They're quite innovative over there you know. dbrown20
Oh no, I heard they take them to the nearest pond. They try to push the sheep into the pond and the sheep keeps backing up. And ofcorse the hind legs are in thier boots the whole time. LMAO
National Grid = Retired! US Army vet. 68 - 70
As of April of 2010 I quit smoking! It's been hard but so far no butts! I am now an X smoker!
Dontchha just hate it when ya hafta Pull out and go round front to kiss em Clive?
Clive exclaims. "It's not so bad with the cute ones."
The rancher rode up to the sheep wagon. The herder's little son emerged from the wagon. Says the rancher. "Hi sonny." "What's your name?" "Cliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive." Replied the child. dbrown20
Last edited by dbrown20; 04-09-2007 at 10:47 AM. Reason: cause
Here's one for Battman...
President Bush walks into a public library. He strolls up to the desk, looks the librarian in the eye and says "I'll have a bacon cheeseburger and an order of fries". The librarian, obviously a little surprised, hesitates and then says "Uh, Mr. President, I mean no disrespect, but this is a library." President Bush, embarrased, says "Oh, excuse me." Then he whispers "I'll have a bacon cheeseburger..."